manila gay guy

In the middle of a Pinoy gay lovers’ quarrel due to trust issues, expletives had been flying left and right, when suddenly an aggravated partner (let’s call him Gay #1) blurts out with all emotion:

If I want, I do!
If I won’t, I don’t!

Gay #2 stops to analyze what was just said and breaks in laughter. Gay #1 is confused, “Did I say anything funny?” Thanks to that accidental comic relief, the lovers’ quarrel had a literally happy ending.

Gay #1 and Gay #2 are my friends, and it’s so much fun being with them. And Gay #1 is so funny without even trying, everytime I’m with him I’m reminded of Melanie Marquez, the Queen Of Malaprop. Here are some of Melanie’s crazy quotes:

* * *

And the Base of My Observation Is …. (showbiz stripped May 14, 2005 GMA Ch. 7)

* * *

My brother is not a girl; he’s a gentleman.

* * *

“I keep my crown in the voltage”

* * *

That’s why I’m a success, it’s because I don’t middle in other people’s lives.

* * *

Don’t judge my brother; he’s not a book.

* * *

I won’t stoop down to my level.

* * *

Hello? Bulag ka ba? Bingi ka ba? Are you dep?

* * *

‘Yung STD, baka sa maruming toilet lang niya nakuha yan.

* * *

Eh, ikaw ba naman, durugin ang ari mo… Pag di ka naman manutok ng baril.

* * *

We are lovers, not fighters.

* * *

Kapatid ko pa rin siya. We are one and the same.

* * *

I don’t eat meat. I’m not a carnival.

* * *

Eto na po ang pinakamaligayang pasko at manigong taon sa inyong lahat. (During her acceptance speech at a Metro Filmfest awards night where her bioflick, directed by her late father Temyong Marquez, won an award.)

* * *

Sumasakit ang migraine ko.

* * *

Ang tatay ko ang only living legend na buhay!

* * *

Period na talaga; wala nang exclamation point. (When asked on S-Files if her present husband, Adam Lawyer, is her Mr. Right.).

* * *

At a talk show after her break-up with Derek Dee, Melanie was asked if she had some words for Derek’s mother (whom she partly blamed for the separation). “Oo nga,” said Melanie, “pero i-English-in ko para maintindihan niya.” She looked into the camera and, with the peremptoriness of royalty, said, “And to you, Mrs. Dee, I have two words for you. Ang labo mo!”

* * *

Lastly, many people think Melanie “has toyo” — she herself “announced” it in this video:

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This entry was posted on Tuesday, November 21st, 2006 at 2:10 am and is filed under Funny, Personalities. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

 

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